The personal life of an artist

I had a revealing conversation with a playwright friend a couple of weeks ago about the personal life of an artist. He was writing a play in which a man leaves his family to go pursue art in New York City and doesn't look back.

It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. The only place in America where an arts culture of real opportunity and success is alive is in New York City. So people leave their homes and their loved ones and pursue their dreams. We cannot live in our little town in whatever random state we want to live in and live the personal life we want as well as achieve our professional goals. We are forced with the decision to estrange ourselves or sacrifice our dreams. And as artists, what are we but people who believe that one should pursue one's dreams?

I want to have a family. I want to be a director. I do not want to live in New York City in the long term. How am I supposed to resolve that? And do I have to wait until I'm 30 before I can even start thinking about finding someone to spend the rest of my life with? I don't work that way. I fall in love. I love people. People are 95% of the reason I do theatre in the first place. Why should I then leave the people I love behind to work with and perform for a bunch of strangers?

Even in other big arts cities, those who do make their lives there have to work so much harder to find the same kind of opportunity, and are often dissatisfied by the quality of work or the quality of community. I was bored living in San Francisco. The arts community felt dead, despite pockets of exciting work and wonderful people. How can we enliven the arts community across the country, increase jobs, increase quality of work, and make art a viable career anywhere? It would require money that the government is not about to start spending. Artists need jobs too!

I cannot resolve the personal life I want with the career path I've chosen. And I cannot imagine that I am the only person out there who feels this way. What are we supposed to do?